| okay honestly. STOP TAKING MY THOUGHTS. i hate liars, cheaters and copycats. well not hate, but like.. CLOSE TO HATE! so like. STOPPPP STOP STOP STOP STOP please. thank you
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| it is sickening how mundane life is when all is good and well. i feel as though i was born without the ability to be happy because when things are right, i just feel bored and unhappy. it's like there's something missing for me to really smile, and i have no clue what it is.
why do i have to be miserable to feel like i'm alive and happy?
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| no one will ever understand me without accusing me or judging me. that way for everyone?
hehe currently watching a show that teaches people to overcome deppression. not helping..
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| from staying home on saturdays! gotta force myself to go to the rehearsals even though my brother's there too, and i don't know half the people.
yesterday was AMAZING! i had so much fun, going up there and doing somethign i wouldve never thought i'd EVER do. it was... just a great feeling to go up there and perform for everyone. i need to learn the nobody dance now too. darrn i shoudl've done both! but w/e buttons was so fun. i needa go shopping for nice shoes. ARGHH i was so embarassed cos everyone was wearing black high heels and i was wearing my yellow flats but w/e, i doubt anyone paid attention. hopefully not. oh and i needa get contancts. i was so blind up there, but i guess it was pretty good cos like i couldn't see faces staring at me. i just saw colours and a blur of heads.
anyways, i'm like seruios about this stuff now. gonig up there once made me want to do that again. i'm going to try hard
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